It's my favorite Tuesday of the month. The last Tuesday of the month. The Tuesday I meet with 6, 8, 10 - however many can make it - of the most unique, beautiful women I know. It was book club night.
This month's selection was a read regarding aging, becoming forgetful and having the opportunity to right wrongs and finish unfinished business. All of this, however, comes at a grave cost; death. Would you pay the price? Of course, it prompted great discussion and, of course, we veered off course...which got me to thinking...
Are you a different person today than you were twenty years ago? Do you hold the same opinions today as you did when you turned 21? Are you the same wife to the husband you married "x" number of years ago? Do you love your children differently today than you did the day they were born? Have you gained more respect - or pity - for your aging parents? Have you started or stopped a habit over the last decade? Have you experienced a death in your lifetime that affected you so much that the process, or "end", has taken up a small residence in your brain? If you're a grandparent, are you a different, better grandparent than you were a parent? Have you grown bitter? Has your opinion of your country changed? Your opinion of the world? As you are aging, are you paying closer attention to the more simpler things in life - the stars in the sky at night, the brightness of the moon, the color of the sky on a crystal clear day? Do you eat better and/or exercise now that you're post-menopausal? Are you fighting the "aging process" all together? I told you, my favorite Tuesday of the month!!!
I'd like to think I'm getting better. I'm not sure what that means, exactly, and I think it's a relative term considering at what point I'm coming from. But I think we are supposed to wise up as we age. I think we're supposed to "get it". I think we're supposed to...care more. Appreciate more. Give more. Love more. And I don't think we're supposed to stay who we are at any given time. I'm not the same person I was as a teen, or in my twenties, or in my thirties...I'm really not even the same person I was a few weeks ago.
I refuse to live in the past. I work hard to stop asking myself "why" when something hurtful happens in my life. I'm not sure anymore that I was "put here for a reason" or that I owe "anyone" anything for my life but I do believe in humanity. I care for and about people and I expect the same in return. I expect you to take care of yourself so that I don't have to pay the price via my health insurance. I expect you to do your part in keeping my community safe. I expect you to contribute to society in some way.
I expect us all to be grateful for each day we're given, don't assume we have 80+ years to handle our business. Take note of the trees, a puppy, the lake, someone holding someone elses hand, how a cat stretches, how your spouse smiles at you across the dinner table during a lull in the conversation. Do this because more than likely, you won't be the same person tomorrow and it will never be the "same as it never was".