Wednesday, July 6, 2011

"Crotch Parasites"

I had dinner - out - with my husband this past Sunday. This may not seem like a big deal to you, Internet, but it is a rarity and SUPER special for us. And better yet, my husband was on duty and in uniform and, let's face it, a man in uniform is more sexy than a naked one! I love the way people try not to look at him while they're looking at him. And I feel especially safe sitting next to the heat he's packing on his right hip...for it's much bigger and more powerful than what I pack in my little purse. What? You didn't know that about me? You thought I was kidding about that comment in my last post, didn't you? Mmm hmmm.

So, we're in a decent-enough restaurant with plenty of seating available throughout the whole place when this guy selects the table just behind us for his family of 4; him, his wife and his two "crotch parasites". Okay, in his defense, the little boy was a gem. But that little winch of a girl child...all I could think of was Aunt Becky and her totally inappropriate term for offspring. "Crotch Parasites" (saying it just makes me giggle). Sorry, but sometimes it is necessary and more than appropriate! If you have a strong stomach for vulgarity, but the kind that will make you laugh, I encourage you to visit Aunt Becky at "Mommy Wants Vodka". Don't say I didn't warn you.

So my RARE evening out with my always-working husband was all but screwed because of a whiny 5 year old with parents obviously stuck on "reasoning with their children". Sorry, sometimes hand-to-ass is warranted.

Hey, kids are great. I have one myself. But it kills me to watch adults allow their spawn to behave like feral dogs, ESPECIALLY in public.

Do us empty nesters and DINKs a favor; keep 'em at home until you teach them how to behave.


Karen said...

I'll drink to that!! (Hey, but I'll drink to anything!!! hehehe)

Ronalyn said...

Just checked out Aunt Becky's blog - love it!