Know Your Body Parts

A post-operative patient called in to the office this afternoon. The conversation went something like this (of course, the names have been changed to cover my ass):

Patient: Yes, this is Cornelius Dishwasher. Can I talk to Dr. Warmblood?

Me: I'm sorry but Dr. Warmblood is in surgery today. He'll be calling and checking in before the office closes. I'd be happy to take a message and get back to you once I've spoken with him.

Patient: Yeah, okay. Well he operated on me Monday and I'm out of my pain medicine. I want to get some more.

Me: What medication did Dr. Warmblood have you on Mr. Dishwasher?

Patient: Percocet.

Me: Uh huh...and what type of surgery did you have?

Patient: He took my pancreas

Me: (To myself in my head..."huh...really...well...how 'bout that...huh..."). Ok. Well, Mr. Dishwasher, I'll relay your request to the doctor and get back to you as soon as I can.

Fast forward one hour...

Dr. Warmblood: Hey Joyce. Anything going on? Got anything for me?

Me: Actually, I do...you operated on Mr. Dishwasher this past Monday?

Dr. Warmblood: Yeah. Yep, sure did.

Me: And...you...removed his pancreas?

Dr. Warmblood: (...without missing a beat)... I did and I'm amazed he's doing so well.

Me & Dr. Warmblood: ...sigh...wow...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The moral of this story...people are stupid (and oh yeah, by the way, YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOUR PANCREAS YOU IDGET!!!)